My Son, the Dork

I am a fraud. I talk tough, but haven’t followed through very well.

Since I was a new mom, I always said that when my kids get into the “marriage” realm, that I won’t try to influence them to marry someone, and I will stay completely neutral until after the wedding. I guess this was an “overboard” reaction to some unhappy marriages I saw around me. There were just too many friends who I heard say something to the effect of, “I knew I was making a mistake, but I figured I had to marry him/her because…” the invitations had been sent out…the money had been spent…(and my favorite doozie)…my family really liked him/her. So I decided early that I wasn’t going to let my kids feel pressure to marry someone. I’ve always reserved the right to try to talk them OUT of something if I thought they were making a mistake—and I have interfered in that area more than once. But I would never try to talk them INTO something. I would be totally neutral through the entire event—right up until the “I do”s were said.

Yup. I talk big.

My oldest son, Chris, recently got engaged to Erin. She is an adorable girl who I only met once last summer during one of his baseball games. They were just dating as friends and there was no indication that they might get married a year later, but she made quite an impression on me. She had her younger sisters there with her simply because they like Chris and had wanted to come along. And she was great with them. She is an open person who is confident enough in herself that she doesn’t have the need to put on a show for others. She is well grounded and has a good head on her shoulders. And what I’ve learned since then is that she has an incredible family. I’m crazy about her mom. How often does that happen? The mother-in-laws well on their way to becoming best friends!

Well, this morning, I missed a call from Chris. He left a monotone voice mail which said, “Mom, call me back. Erin and I just broke up.”

I was stunned! My first thought was, “I wonder if it can be salvaged.”

I couldn’t for the life of me think what would have happened to break up over. They seemed to adore each other. They never argued—Erin wouldn’t put up with it. They seemed to communicate well. And I knew Chris must be devastated. Every day he tells me how much he loves her, how wonderful she is, how cute she looks in pigtails, how he wishes they could just get married NOW.....

I figured whatever the problem, it must be able to be saved. So I called him back to find out what had happened before I phoned Erin’s mom, Carole. Between Carole and me, I was sure we could help our kids through the problem. So much for not wanting to get involved.

When Chris answered, all I could say in my still-shocked emotional state was, “WHAT HAPPENED?!” He sounded devastated, and said, “It was the date.” I couldn’t even think straight. Did they get in a fight on their date last night? Was it a difficult day for Erin and they got in a fight about it? I couldn’t make sense of what he was saying, so I just repeated, “WHAT HAPPENED?!”

That’s when he started to laugh and said, “It’s the date. It’s April first.” Good grief—I’d been April fooled.

Yup. I raised a dork. Now Erin is getting him, so she can deal with it. And I claim no responsibility for his dorkiness.