Step One: Dump boiling water on your hand. (Why was I boiling water? See "Queen of Boiling Water" below.)
Step Two: Stick hand in a bag of snow. Try to avoid the yellow stuff.
Step Three: Trudge through biting wind in temperatures that freeze your brain, frost your skin and make your teeth ache—with your hand buried in a bag of snow.
Step Four: Bang on the clinic door and beg entrance.
Step Five: Sit for an hour while the health aide methodically takes vitals and a thorough medical history. Meanwhile, repeatedly send husband outside for more snow.
Step Six: Another eternal wait for the doctor to call with treatment plan. Pick dog hairs from bag of snow (or are they wolf?).
Step Seven: Finally! Cream and bandages—and much relief. (Bless the inventor of Silver Sulfadiazine.)
Step Eight: Vow to find an easier and preferably pain-free way of avoiding dish duty in the future.
